Saying goodbye well

How many times do you say goodbye?  You probably can’t even keep count, and that may be the result of not paying attention to that.  Perhaps one of the most significant things gained out of the tragedies of September 11 was gaining an understanding that life is fragile – ALL the time.  Every time you say good bye, could be the last time that you say goodbye.  But often we don’t treat them that way.  We simply shout out a vague good bye, and that’s that.  One thing I am learning is that saying goodbye is important.  We do that a lot here, and we do a very good job of it. 

During orientation here we were reminded that while our new colleagues will be happy to see us, they may be just a little sad because they have friends that just left.  You don’t realize it as a new volunteer, but the people who are greeting you will be leaving before you.  You will quickly bond with them and then say goodbye.  It begins in our Friday meeting, the new vollies will be introduced, and then those that are leaving will have an opportunity to say something.  They will also decide if they want to have a leaving service, attended only by staff, and if they want to have a special gathering, only for vollies.  Last week the three women leaving, two from Cul Shuna and one from the Mac, did not want a leaving service.  One had planned to lead Tuesday morning worship as her leaving service, and all three of them purchased special “Scottish” treats (crisps, Iron Bru a soft drink, and tea cakes) for a special dinner.  This week the four people leaving, three from the Mac and one from Cul Shuna, had a leaving service and then we had a bar-b-que on the North Beach.  The typical day for departing vollies is Wednesday morning. 

Guests depart on Friday morning.  Given the remote location we are in, if you don’t leave on the 9 a.m. ferry chances are you won’t make it to Glasgow on the same day.  Their entire schedule is bumped up on Friday to get them to the jetty on time.  Just as with the departing vollies, all members of the staff come down to the jetty to see the guests leave.  As they line up to board, we go down the line and say our goodbyes.  There are handshakes and hugs.  Then as they board the ferry, we all line up across the pier and do the “wave” (like in stadiums), and a couple of the younger ones will do “airplanes,” where they circle around the jetty with their arms outstretched.  While it is fun, and entertaining, it is also quite touching.  We realize, individually and as a group, we were brought together for this brief moment, a slightly longer moment as volunteers, and that moment has passed.  And we honor that by saying good bye, very well.

It is a thin place.